Stop Trying To Understand Me!
by myLITTLEnekoSHIRO
Summary: Ichigo wants to understand. But Grimmjow wants to keep his barriers. Both have their demons. Will he ever understand? No yaoi till now but hints at it if you get my drift
1. Chapter 1

**now i know i should be focusing on my other stories and finishing those but i was bored in class and wrote a paragraph of this rhyming thing and i really liked it! so i continued and decided to put it up! i hope you all like it and can guess its a really long poem like Rape of the Lock (i wrote it in my literature class while we were doing that poem XD) it's not finished yet but there will only be two chapters on this and i PROMISE ill continue the others and FINISH FINALLY**

**happy readings!^^ oh! and i hope you all can guess the rhyme scheme!**

'Stop trying to understand me!'

He screams. I shake my head.

'I can't leave you for dead.

I can't, cant' you see?' I say softly.

**XXX**

Grimmjow snorts and turns on his heel.

'Good luck,' he sneers.

I wonder what this man fears

that stops him from even trying to feel?

* * *

'Stop it!'

'Stop what?'

He glares. He's been doing that a lot.

'Stop staring! Stop trying! It's shit!'

**XXX**

I sigh.

'What I don't want to?'

'Fine! But you'll have no one to talk to!'

And he walks off to wallow in his lie.

* * *

He's hurt.

He's got a bruise the size of Saturn.

And it's become a pattern.

I tug at his shirt.

**XXX**

'Let me help.'

'Go away.'

'I won't, okay?'

'I don't want your help!'

**XXX**

'Why?'

He stares.

Someone cares?

'You HAVE to tell me why.'

**XXX**

Grimmjow clenches his fists.

'I don't want to look weak.'

'Is that what you seek?'

He likes being alone, he insists.

**XXX**

But I know

he's trying to hide.

'Yes, but then you've cried.'

'Fine, my dad and I had a row!'

**XXX**

'He hits you?'

'He can. He's my dad.'

'Don't you get mad?'

'Would you?'

**XXX**

'Of course! He hit me!'

'I know…'

'So?'

'I can't tell you,' he says softly.

**XXX**

'Tell me today.'

'No.'

'Tomorrow?'

'No. Someday.'

**XXX**

'Does this mean I can talk to you?'

He smiles like he's been set free.

'Let's see.'

I wonder if he'll stay true.

* * *

'Your hair is so blue!'

He pulls away from me.

'Always has, always will be.'

'You don't have a clue!

**XXX**

It turns white when you're old!'

'Oh yeah? Well you too, carrot top!'

I grin and let it drop.

He says, 'Let's go! It's cold!'

**XXX**

I bite my lip and say,

'Can I hold your hand?'

He stares. I say, 'What? Is it banned?'

He just smiles and says, ''Kay.'

**XXX**

They're soft. I didn't expect that.

We keep walking.

And talking.

It feels nice like that.

* * *

His feet are soft too.

I let him put his feet in my lap.

He had football and needed to nap.

I got us food too.

**XXX**

I admire his face.

He has nice features.

Even when pissed at our teachers.

I could stare all day if that's the case.

**XXX**

He doesn't need to know I'm staring.

He'd probably find it weird.

See, what I most feared,

Was what if it is more than caring?

**XXX**

What if it is more than a whim?

What if what I feel more,

And keep locked behind a door,

Is that fact that I really love him?

* * *

He likes this girl.

I say coldly, 'She's not your type.'

He snaps, 'Like you know! No need to hype!

Just going to give her a whirl!'

**XXX**

'Grimmjow, she's not a car.'

'Don't tell me what to say!'

'So as not to insult her! Which you may!'

'Ichigo, you're going too far!'

**XXX**

'I'm just looking out for you!'

'I never asked you to!'

'The way you act, you NEED me to!'

'Seriously, Ichigo, SCREW YOU!'

**XXX**

'Why do you hate me so much?'

'Because I'm scared!'

Well, that went further than I dared.

He says, 'I don't want a crutch…'

**XXX**

I need to be strong.

I hate my father,

Who continues to beat me harder.

Ichigo, is that so wrong?'

**XXX**

I don't say anything.

I just give a strong tug

And pull him into a hug

To show I'm okay with everything.

**XXX**

I can tell he's crying.

I don't want to comment.

I know what he meant.

Moving on is hard but at least he's trying.

* * *

He invites me to his place.

All day, we sit on his bed.

All day, with my hand on his head

We talk as I stare at his face.

**XXX**

I tell him I like his eyes.

He says he likes my hair.

Good old fun without a care.

But then, we hear howling cries.

**XXX**

He sits bolt upright,

His eyes wide, his body trembling.

He jumps off his bed, all the while stumbling

And suppressing his fright.

**XXX**

He whispers, 'You need to hide.'

'What's going on?'

'Nothing. Just hide. Go on!'

I object. 'I'm not leaving your side!'

**XXX**

'Fine!' he snaps

And shoves me into a closet.

I yell, 'Grimmjow! I can't just shut up and sit!'

But stop when I hear sharp taps.

**XXX**

In walks a terrifying man

Who doesn't waste time in

Beating his son like he's committed a sin.

I can't stop him. No one can.

**XXX**

He'd hurt Grimmjow more if I did.

Then, I saw his hands go south.

I wanted to scream but I cover my mouth.

Fuck, fuck, FUCK, NO! He's just a kid!

**XXX**

Leave him alone!

He's your SON!

Bastard, he's your goddamn SON!

I cry at Grimmjow's pained tone.

**XXX**

I cry as the bastard leaves.

I cry as I crawl up to Grimmjow.

I cry as I hug him now.

I cry even harder as he hurls and heaves.

**XXX**

So this is his life's evil core.

My baby. My love.

I'm his peace. His dove.

He has me now. No more.


	2. Chapter 2

'No.'

'Whyy?'

'Because I say!'

'So?'

**XXX**

'Ichigo!'

He throws his hands in the air.

'I can't move in with you! I don't dare!'

'Grimm, it's time to let go.'

**XXX**

'I can't! Can't you see?'

He's close to tears.

What is it that he fears?

I say, 'Help me see.'

**XXX**

'I hate looking weak,' he mutters.

'I can't leave. He's my father.

I must stay. Even if he beats me harder.

'Ichigo, is that wrong?' he utters.

**XXX**

I stare in surprise.

Then, I grab his hand and pull him near.

'Hush,' I say, 'I'm here, my dear.

'Let a new life rise.'

**XXX**

He smiles and blushes.

I don't care, I love it.

My entire world, he lit.

So we stay, no rushes.

**XXX**

I want an adventure flick.

He prefers a romantic one.

A mix of both might be fun.

I just hope I don't get sick.

**XXX**

I want a normal night.

Just the two of us.

Nothing capricious.

He deserves something right.

**XXX**

We watch the love one first.

Because he wanted to.

We cuddle up too.

And kept one drink to quench our thirst.

**XXX**

'You know they're going to kiss?'

I whisper in his ear.

'Well he's been calling her dear!'

He manages to hiss.

**XXX**

I laugh and ruffle his hair.

He lets me and I grow bold.

I bring him closer in my hold.

He just stares at the movie without a care.

**XXX**

I kiss his cheek.

Then I kiss his nose.

I kiss to his mouth so he knows.

Knows what I seek.

**XXX**

I kiss his mouth once.

Then again and again and again.

He tastes like spices and daisies in rain.

It's nothing I've tasted in _months_.

**XXX**

I don't know I long I was kissing him.

But I began to feel him pushing me away.

That's no fair! I don't get a say?

How can be cruelly keep this taste with him?

**XXX**

'Ichi, stop,' he begs.

'I'm not Ichi,' I rasp. 'I'm Shirosaki, kid.

Now watch me fuck you stupid.'

And I grab his legs.

**XXX**

He screams and kicks me.

I ignore and hold him down.

Really, his actions make me frown.

It'll hurt more if he messes with me!

**XXX**

Suddenly, he cries.

I snap out of it and look at him.

His eyes are red around the rim.

Can he take my lies?

**XXX**

'Grimm, I can explain.'

'Get away from me!'

'First, let me-!'

'No! I want to be sane!'

**XXX**

And he bolts out of the room.

I watch him go.

Why would he want to stay with Ichigo?

When Shiro might come soon?

* * *

I've never told anyone about Shiro.

He's my weakness, my flaw.

My demon bared raw.

And I just let him grow.

**XXX**

He went too far tonight.

He tried to hurt MY Grimmjow.

That I could not allow.

Because now, he's nowhere in sight.

**XXX**

He's not inside.

And he's left all his things behind.

I can't rest until I speak my mind.

Hence, I dare venture outside.

**XXX**

His face is stuck in my head.

His name is stuck in my throat.

It's cold but worry cost me my coat.

Worry that I might find him dead.

**XXX**

It's all your fault,' Shiro blames.

I snarl, 'Don't you dare blame ME!'

'Why? YOU couldn't control me!

Now watch your relationship go up in flames!'

**XXX**

'Shut up! Shut up!' I yell

And block my ears.

He giggles, 'What are your fears?'

'Huh?' What is he trying to tell?

**XXX**

'Are you scared of losing him?

Or are you afraid you'll KILL him?'

Like right out of a horror film.

Like that, my future seems dim.

**XXX**

Is that what I'm afraid of?

That he'll die by my hands?

But…I saved him! I don't understand!

I love him. Can I really kill him off?

**XXX**

'YES YOU CAN!' Shiro insists.

'Get out of my head!' I growl.

'I like it here so lose that scowl!'

He laughs as I curl my hands into fists.

**XXX**

'You think you can beat me out?'

'I WILL beat you out, you fuck!'

He goes crazy laughing, 'Good luck!'

And thus begins my pummeling bout.

**XXX**

That's when I hear a cry.

It's soft. I shouldn't have heard it.

But I do. And I stop my hissy fit.

I can see him all scared and I want to cry.

**XXX**

I try coming near.

But he keeps going backwards.

There is nothing, not even words,

That can wipe away his fear.

**XXX**

'Come out, Grimmjow.'

'No.'

'I'm not going to go.'

'Leave me alone NOW.'

**XXX**

'He's being difficult!' Shiro whines.

I snarl, 'Stay out of this!'

'Why don't you give him a KISS?'

He's coming. I can feel the signs.

**XXX**

'Grimmjow, run!'

'What?'

'Run before I cut-!'

I told him to run…

**XXX**

Shiro can be rough.

He would tear people limb from limb.

But Shiro had vicious plans for him.

Just to share his thoughts was enough.

**XXX**

I plead.

'He's all I have, please!'

'C'mon!' he giggles. 'I only want to tease!'

'Please, he's all I want, I NEED!'

**XXX**

'No, you don't.'

'Don't you tell me how I should feel!'

'If what you feel is real,

You'd stop me. But you won't.'

**XXX**

'You're a coward,' he declares.

'But…I...can't…'

'Cunt.'

He takes Grimmjow's shirt and tears.

**XXX**

He's trying to fight my demon.

Why? It's useless.

It'll end in a mess.

Why doesn't he just run?

**XXX**

He's a fighter.

I'm a coward.

Because he's scarred,

He's a fighter.

**XXX**

No more.

I told him I'd be his protector.

His lover, his savior.

And I am; to my very core.

**XXX**

So I'll fight.

For him I will.

Before there's a kill.

Yes, for him I'll fight.

**XXX**

'What are you doing?'

Shiro shrieks.

Whoa. Didn't know he freaks.

But I have to be his undoing.

**XXX**

Suddenly, he grabs my beloved's neck.

'One move,' he hisses.

'And he shall be getting death's kisses.'

'Stop! You've already made him a wreck!'

**XXX**

'Then sit back,

And let me have my fun!'

'You won't stop, even when you're done!

Compassion is what you lack!'

**XXX**

I pull myself away.

Clutching my head,

Body in pain, wishing I were dead.

But what will he say?

**XXX**

He's screaming.

He loves to fight.

Why does he curl up in fright?

I think I am dreaming.

**XXX**

'Don't give up.'

He's looking at me.

With blue, blue eyes he's looking at me.

'Ichigo, don't you _dare_ give up.'

**XXX**

Shiro's hissing.

'Sick,' he spits,

'Love is sick! It's the PITS!'

I answer, 'Too bad. You're missing.'

**XXX**

'You WILL lose control!

I'll be back, you wait and see.'

'I won't let you get to me.

Now demon, release my soul.'

**XXX**

A smirk.

'I won't stop later like so.'

I know.

Behind every corner he will lurk.

**XXX**

Grimmjow is my world.

Protecting him is my job.

So his innocence Shiro cannot rob.

But my demon cannot be cured.

**XXX**

He'll always be there.

Taunting, tempting, teasing.

All the while, never ceasing.

He is beyond the will to care.

**XXX**

Shiro may never leave.

But what about Grimmjow?

He isn't bound to me now.

Leaving me he may perceive.

**XXX**

My eyes burn.

Tears sting me with their saltiness.

My life will forever be a mess.

My stomach decides to churn.

**XXX**

A hand lands on my shoulder.

And then, someone hugs me!

My tears blind me, I cannot see.

But my world no longer seems colder.

**XXX**

'I'm here.'

He whispers in my ear.

'No need to shed a tear.

Because I'll ALWAYS be here.'

**XXX**

I hug him too.

He saw me at my worst.

He saw that I was cursed.

But…he understood. He knew.

**XXX**

And he didn't care.

I wanted him by my side.

And he didn't mind.

To leave, he wouldn't dare.

**XXX**

I would climb mountains for him;

Cross oceans for him;

Jump off a cliff for him;

And I would fight for him.

**XXX**

Fight Shiro to remain sane.

As we leave, I hold him tight.

He is mine and this feels right.

But in my head, he laughs again.


End file.
